A time to remember

This year is going to be a very special Christmas. My brother is driving over with his wife and kids. They are going to drive through New Mexico and pick up my sister and her family!! We will have a total of 52 people at our Christmas party this year!!! That's just my parents and their descendants. We have not been together like this for a LONG time. I don't remember the last time we have all been together. I am sooo excited, but at the same time a little heart broken. I know that we will never be able to have everyone together again, at least not in this life. My little brother, Alan, died 9 years ago. He would be 22 now. Home from his mission. Probably dating someone, maybe married. I really miss him this time of year. There is a song by Vince Gill called, "It won't be the same this year" that really makes me think of Alan. I cry every time I hear it.
I have two nephews who died when they were just babies, they are still missed.
I also have two nephews and a niece that because of some bad decisions they've made, won't be able to be with us either. It makes me so sad for them because they know right from wrong and chose to do what they did anyways. I hope that they can feel our love for them and hopefully make better decisions this year.
There are more things that have been thinking about and it's making me a little blue this Christmas. I hope that by writing them down, I can move on and enjoy the time with my family...
Duston's aunt won't be around for long. I won't be surprised if we get a call in the morning saying she died during the night. Duston says he would be shocked if she makes it through the weekend. I hope that she doesn't have to suffer long.
Duston's grandpa has been hurting really bad. He said he just wants to die and be out of pain. He cant eat much and it's hard for him to move. I feel really bad for him, I wish there was something I could do to help him. I think he is feeling a little better these last couple days and might even be feeling a little more positive. I think he'll be alright, but won't quite be himself again.
I keep thinking about the firefighter who died. His family is in our stake. He has 3 young kids that I know will be missing their daddy this year. My heart aches for them even tho I don't know them personally. I pray that they will be able to find a little peace and comfort this Christmas.
I feel for his wife too. How lonely she must feel. Christmas eve, she should be wrapping presents with him and putting together toys. I pray that she will be okay.
I hope that I can get over this melancholy feeling and enjoy what family I have here, while they are here. This is defiantly going to be a Christmas I remember for a long time.